I have been a huge advocate of financial planners using life planning and coaching for a very long time. I believe we can do our work more effectively if we build deep and meaningful relationships with our clients.
I came across a coaching training program recently that said it is not appropriate to coach a client when they are highly emotional: upset, angry or fearful. They said it is difficult to coach under those circumstances. You should let the client work through it and come back to the coaching afterwards.
Really?
This flies in the face of every instinct I have about coaching. My own coach says that coaching is helping. With that in mind why would you not help someone at a moment when they really need you?
I’d argue it’s all about that moment: the moment your client shares something with you about what is going on for them right now. Something that causes them to feel a strong survival response like fear, anger, upset or shame. The moment the aforementioned coaching program dictates that you should walk away or change the subject.
But you can use this moment to act differently from your competitors. You can coach your clients through their survival emotions in a way that allow them to no longer be blocked by them. That’s the moment where you can make the biggest difference to the human being that is sitting in from of you.
Speaking to your clients when they’re emotional creates a sustainable long-term competitive advantage because your competitors mostly won’t. But more importantly, with your coaching support, your clients will be more able to make better decisions about their future.
These moments are the most valuable in terms of building the relationship with the client. Ignore or avoid them at your peril.
Coaching is an art rather than a science. Like all art forms, it takes practice to become proficient at it. However, if we accept that emotion drives our behaviour, we can help our clients through acknowledging that when we respond out of upset, fear anger or shame, we generally end up making bad decisions.
In fact, we all know that a good decision, particularly a financial one, is never made when a client is experiencing survival emotions. The start of any coaching journey with the client is therefore to help them identify the emotions that are driving their decision-making before the decisions get made. Your job is to help clients move to a state where they are feeling attachment emotions (love, joy, trust) instead. This is where they can think clearly and move forward positively.
There is only one way to get good at this sort of coaching – get coached yourself. Learn by watching and practicing. Develop yourself to be the best version you can be.
Tina Weeks is the founder of Serenity Financial Planning, a unique financial planning firm with offices nationwide. At Serenity, life planning and financial planning are integrated to create an exciting financial life plan for each client that inspires them to achieve their life’s goals and ambitions. Each client is treated as an individual and given the time and environment to explore what is really important to them. They are then provided with ongoing coaching and support to ensure they are motivated and able to stay on track. Read her profile here.